My Darkest Hour

I've been tweeting about how Jesus Christ saved me. Yes, He did....again. He's so compassionate because if I were Him, I'd get rid of me long ago lol. So...this is kind of heavy but I have to share whatever God shows me.

It started around midnight. I fell into the deepest depression ever. I was so sick of my life I was thinking about overdosing. Everything was dark and foggy. God was trying to get my attention (we have a crazy bond...have since I was 16) but I pushed Him away. It just kept getting worse so I looked around for anything else. I tried everything else but was still depressed.

Someone told me to just pour my heart out to Jesus and he'd come. Okay, I should know this by now. I'm too stubborn, I swear. At about 4AM I couldn't take it so I did pour everything out to Him while listening to "Step Aside". I was praying then I slowly broke down. I had no energy left.

So, did He save me? Of course. I'm sitting here typing this, praising Him and full of peace. I'm not depressed or scared anymore. I want to live again, try again. Sometimes God has to get you to a "painful" situation in order to get your attention. He's compassionate beyond anyone's understanding. I know a lot of people think He's mean or "why is [insert complaint here] happening to me?" well, chances are you did it to yourself.

I don't understand how anyone can live without Jesus. I'd die!! Man ruined everything it's never God's fault. He gave us this world to take care of and man trashed it. He's very kind but I think that makes him kinda sad that man is destroying the rain forests, animals, your life, my life, everything! Like if someone gave you a beautiful gift and you just throw it on the floor and it shatters into a million pieces. He died for you, suffered for you so believing in him isn't much to ask.

I've seen and heard a lot of things. I have no doubt what so ever that He is real. He's showed me miracles, taught me lessons and that's why I'm more humble today than ever. Before age 16 I was everyone's worst nightmare. I told God to take my life and use it since I was done, and He did. I didn't mean it!! lol it's not always fun but it can be rewarding. He wants you to talk to Him. He's patient, and He's waiting.