Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I Surrender

At 3:50 AM I selfishly took a risk. I could say "Why did I do that??" but that wouldn't make sense. I apologize to Christ and pray that you will forgive me. I do not know what I'm about to face I do not deserve your mercy and compassion after messing up over and over. It does not glorify you and it is disgusting. I am disgusting. You know I'm weak especially now. You know me better than anyone or anything so I will trust you to get me through this. The consequences and your "punishment/lesson".
A lot of people think God is "harsh" or mean but it's the opposite. The world is harsh, satan is harsh, God is not. This pain brings us closer together and as MercyMe would say:

"I can count a million times people asking me how I can praise you with all that I've gone through. The question just amazes me...Maybe since my life has changed long before these rainy days it's never crossed my mind to turn my back on you oh Lord, my only shelter from the storm. Instead, I draw closer through these times. So I pray:
Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. and I know they'll be days where this life brings me pain but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain. I am yours regardless of the clouds that may loom above because you are much greater than my pain. You who made a way for me....holy holy holy....is the Lord God Almighty!"

Do not intervene no matter what the situation. God is doing something even when I screw it up. I belong to Him not anyone else on this earth. Last time this happened, He saved me before it hit me. Now, it's my time to step aside.


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